Man In The Mirror
by tjmack
Summary: Looking at oneself in the mirror can change their outlook on life. This is true for Charlie Pace, as he must decide what is most important in his life.


Man In The Mirror

Summary: Taking a good look at oneself in the mirror can change their outlook in life. That's what's happened to Charlie Pace. It's time that he chooses—his old way of life (his band and drugs) or his family.

* * *

_**I'm Starting With The Man In**_

_**The Mirror**_

_**I'm Asking Him To Change**_

_**His Ways**_

_**And No Message Could Have**_

_**Been Any Clearer**_

_**If You Wanna Make The World**_

_**A Better Place**_

_**Take A Look At Yourself, And**_

_**Then Make A Change**_

_**~Man In The Mirror-Michael Jackson~**_

* * *

Sitting inside the tiny room that had been reserved as my dressing room I make the decision that will change my life forever. Was it a difficult decision? Yes and no. It was because I love what I do, and I love the way the fans look at me. It wasn't because I love my family so much, and miss them with every ounce of my being. Will they take me back though is the question that I've had in my mind for the past few weeks. Recent events though unclouded my mind and made me see that if I have to spend the rest of my life winning them back, then that's what I'll do.

"Mr. Pace—we're ready for you."

Am I playing a large venue, with thousands of fans waiting? No—I'm playing a small club just outside of Sydney. Why you might ask, am I ruining my family for this? Well that's easy. I had ruined my family long before I took up playing small intimate clubs—alone. Driveshaft disbanded almost a year ago, and since I had lost everyone I loved I saw no reason to give up the only other thing I love. So I spend my nights going to a few clubs around town, grabbing my old acoustic guitar, and play a few of my favorite songs.

I hope that she's accepted my invitation, and has brought the children with her. My stomach flip-flops at the prospect of seeing and loving her again. A faint smile crosses my lips. Through all the hurt and pain I've been through, the sheer thought of seeing her—seeing my children brings everything into focus and I know that I've made the right choice. Tonight I will not play—tonight I will walk out on that stage—for the last time in my life—and I will announce my retirement from the music business.

Standing up, I grab my guitar, slinging the worn brown leather strap around my shoulder, and carry the guitar in front of me. I don't want to give away my decision before I can say it. If I come out guitarless then they will know.

"Please give a nice round of applause of Mr. Charlie Pace."

The applause is louder tonight than it has every other night that I've played. I smile faintly, loving that I am still loved. I take the stage, sit down on the stool that was left for me. I fling one arm over my guitar, while the other grips the microphone.

"Hello—I didn't come out here to sing. That wasn't my intention. Instead—I've come to announce my retirement from the music business. The decision, while both easy and difficult was made just a few days earlier. For those of you who haven't heard, my brother Liam—and his wife were killed in a drunk driving accident. Seeing how short life can be, I knew in my heart that with whatever time I might have left, I want to spend it with my family. I want to thank all you for coming out here, and I'm sorry you will be leaving empty handed."

I stood up, and as I took one final bow, I scanned the club. I didn't see her, and it broke my heart, but either way, I would see her soon. I won't give up, I will be in their lives again—I have to be.

As I head backstage I remove my guitar. As I lift my head, I see my son—even if not biologically, and my daughter who is flying toward me, flinging herself into my arms that I opened almost automatically.

"I missed you daddy."

"I missed you to Caroline." I kissed the top of her head. She has grown so much since the last time I saw her.

"Hi dad."

"Hey Aaron—how's my favorite guy?" this made him smile softly. Even if he was entering his teenage years, I could tell that he had a soft spot for his sister—and his mother—and apparently me too.

"I'm six now daddy!" Caroline shouted, demanding my attention.

"I know sweetheart. Did you get the card I sent you?" I hoped like hell that Claire hadn't kept the card from her, but part of me felt like I deserved it.

"Yeah." was all she said, before she wiggled until I let her down. She took off running behind her brother. I was worried as to where she was headed.

"Your mom didn't come?" I asked, hoping the disappointment in my voice didn't show.

"I'm right here Charlie."

Her voice was soft, almost angelic, and I could feel myself falling in love with her again. I wore my wedding band around my neck on a sleek gold chain. Even if she had given up on our marriage, I hadn't, and now I had the chance to make her see that we're not a lost cause. The divorce wasn't final yet—basically because I refused to sign them. I wouldn't give up on us, not like she had.

"God—your so beautiful."

"Charlie--" her voice was guarded.

"Claire—I meant every word I said. I am done with anything that keeps me away from you—all of you. I love you too much to keep hurting you. I'm sorry it took me so long to see that." I bowed my head before continuing, trying to hide the tears in my eyes. "I am sorry that it took me losing my brother to see how short life is. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness—but I won't give up Claire. I will earn your trust and forgiveness."

"I forgave you a long time ago Charlie. It's just—I put my trust in you—all of my trust and you broke that. I want to trust you--"

She was standing right in front of me, her hand was on my chest, her index finger lifted my chin and I heard her audible gasp when she realized that I was crying.

"Prove to me that your done with all of that—that I can trust you—please."

I looked behind her and saw that Aaron held onto Caroline, and they were standing, with their backs to us. Taking a deep breath I press my lips to hers. The kiss was soft and short, but as soon as I pulled away, I settled my forehead against hers. Staring her straight in the eyes I spoke.

"I swear to you Claire. I'm done with anything that would make you not trust me. I love you, I want you—please believe me."

"Well—it's a start--"

She smiled at me, before grabbing my hand. I smiled back, as we walked toward our children. Even if it wasn't what I imagined, we were well on our way to being a family again.


End file.
